Just 2 days before Christmas, we received the best Christmas present we possibly could. We learned that we are pregnant for the fourth time!
Yet, there still lingers the concern and occasional fear that this baby will miscarry, just like each of our other babies. It’s tough stuff… continuing to try despite so many losses. We have been left without medical answers after our last baby left us at the end of the first trimester. We only knew that Charis Ruth was indeed a female with all the medical stats looking like she should’ve lived to be a happy healthy full-term baby that we could hold in our arms.
How can we go on? Frankly – I’m not completely sure. In fact, this month we really had the least amount of intentional effort. I’d given up on daily ovulation tests, traveled to a conference during my peak time, and returned home slightly ill. Yet – here we are. We have asked for many prayers, have supported each baby with medical and natural options, and have done everything possible to bring our own little one into our arms. Each time, we wonder, “God, how has this happened? How can we prevent another loss?” and each time we remember that His love is with us through the grieving.
I’ve wondered if I should wait to tell my friends and family until we’ve passed all other points with our pregnancies. Yet, I’ve learned that for us, support matters. If we wait until we’re through the first trimester (passing up our last pregnancy), it really isn’t helpful for us until we reach this arbitrary point.
Some people want us to hold off telling others so as to spare them their own emotional responses to the loss. Yet, if they remain unaware that long, their only experience of our baby might be news of a passing. Instead, they could have the experience that we can share for the life that is alive right now. Is it selfish of us to say that our need for support outweighs others’ needs for avoiding potentially having their hopes dashed?
Mostly we opted to be fairly public in all ways except online until now (February 9, 2016)
If the calendar holds true to the actual dates, Baby Robertson will hopefully be here August 24th, 2016. In the meantime, we will keep you posted. We are excited, and even a little hopeful. But, we are also reserved and will be until we hold our little one.
Our next ultrasound is scheduled for February 24th, and that should put us past our last milestone of 13weeks.
So, try… try… try… and even try again. Welcome Baby Robertson, IV. We’re happy to meet you, and we hope to hold you in our arms soon.
Matt thinks the baby is starting to get crowded. I reminded him, this is only the beginning.