Today he got an xray of his hips. He sat in breech in-utero. Today was the all clear to stop monitoring that. 

He prefers learning how to walk over rolling over. His therapists aren’t amused with this. 
Asher has grown 7″ and quadrupled his weight since birth. He now makes the growth charts for babies his age. 

Asher is very social. He loves to jabber to new people. 

He doesn’t like to get confined to his car seat anywhere. As soon as we arrive he wants out. 

With so much exercise for physical therapy, Asher is used to interacting with people when he is awake. He has a hard time chilling in the same room with others. He wants to do things together. 

2-5 pm most days is exceptionally cranky. Lately he’s taken cat naps but is still sleeping through the night. The days though have felt like colic again. 

His 6mo wellness checkup showed he is a strong healthy little man. 

Asher loves playing with his daddy. 

A wound vac pump is necessary and miserable. For the past 2 weeks I’ve had this machine and tubing hooked up to my abdomen pumping away the pregnancy swelling fluids. I don’t have an end date on it…just…when I’m done.

It’s becoming unbearable. My skin is really raw under all the tape. This morning I managed to leak out through the bandaging. The smell is awful.

This week alone I have 7 medical appointments for me to get my wound and back in order plus a follow up with the OB.

Is he blowing kisses? He is very content and eating a lot.

I am still waiting to hear from insurance if they will approve my wound vac tomorrow. If they decline I have no clue what they will do with me.

Meanwhile I have gauze packed in to the 1/2 open incision. This is due to a pocket of swelling/fluid that won’t give up.

So much happiness here. Asher is demanding more food more often. I can see him filling out on his arms and cheeks.

While we both are finally recovering well, it is important that we stay on track. For preemies, every ounce gained is a major victory.

And my wound is finally slowing down and clotting. Just in time to see the wound care specialist tomorrow morning. Still… I’ll take it as a win.

Yesterday’s weigh in has Asher just shy of his birth weight and 3 weeks old. 2 ounces to go! He is doing well in all other areas. We’ve graduated from setting an alarm for feedings to letting him tell me he’s hungry. This is a huge relief.

I am finally resuming work (from home – writing tech documents). I can think clearly again. Still healing – slowly.

The last hour has felt like an eternity. We sit waiting for our last round of meetings with the doctor. Afterward Matt will load the car while I diaper and feed before our 90 minute trip HOME. I want out!

Lift your head weary sinner, the river’s just ahead
Down the path of forgiveness, salvation’s waiting there
You built a mighty fortress 10,000 burdens high
Love is here to lift you up, here to lift you high

If you’re lost and wandering
Come stumbling in like a prodigal child
See the walls start crumbling
Let the gates of glory open wide

All who’ve strayed and walked away, unspeakable things you’ve done
Fix your eyes on the mountain, let the past be dead and gone
Come all saints and sinners, you can’t outrun God
Whatever you’ve done can’t overcome the power of the blood

If you’re lost and wrecked again
Come stumbling in like a prodigal child
See the walls start crumbling
Let the gates of glory open wide

This song has been rolling around in my soul for months.  At first, the word “sinner” held me back from truly letting the message sink in deep.  I’ve come to understand that when Jesus said:

When Jesus had received the sour wine, He said, It is finished! And He bowed His head and gave up His spirit. JOHN 19:30

We are no longer slaves to sin

We know that our old (unrenewed) self was nailed to the cross with Him in order that [our] body [which is the instrument] of sin might be made ineffective and inactive for evil, that we might no longer be the slaves of sin. ROMANS 6:6

So by those statements, we are no longer sinners.  Jesus completed His work for us on the cross.  Yet, we see ourselves as sinners still.  We think we’re trapped under all the junk we’ve done or been through.

It isn’t so.  He looks at us from this perspective:

Even when we were dead in our transgressions, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up with Him, and seated us with Him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus.  EPHESIANS 2:5-6

He says we are alive, and that we are right now already seated with Him.

If you still identify as a sinner, unable to see yourself from the eternal position of being with Him, it’s time to come in. Prodigal son, come home.  We are longing for you with.  If He says you are alive in Him, that is our response of your presence as well.

The walls you’ve built up and chains you’ve allowed to hold you under all happened while operating in any way other than from the position of being seated with Him.

We are the gates of glory.

Lift up your heads, O gates, And be lifted up, O ancient doors,That the King of glory may come in! PSALM 24:7

Be opened wide for Him to come in… and please do be with us.  Nothing can separate us from this love.  You will be wrecked for sure.  You are called to come out of your burdens, chains, and mindset of being a sinner.  You are a son or daughter of the King, and you are seated with Him.  His heart for you love.  Those of us who no longer identify as a sinner want you with us.

And that leads me to another song that’s been ruminating around:

Are you empty? Are you broken?
Are you lost and all alone?
Unaccepted? Suicidal?
Are you looking for a home?
Heavy-hearted? Forgotten?
Like you’ve got no place to go?
Homosexual? Unlovable?
Are you just a little low?

Come in
Come in
Come in.

Tomatoes.  What do you do when tomatoes grow more abundantly than weeds?  Well, you make tomato paste of course.

I’ve already canned all the salsa and marinara that I’ll need for the next year, as well as diced tomatoes.  I have enough for the many meals that I anticipate making to share with friends as well.  These meals will happen on short notice and with little plans, but the pantry and freezer are ready for just such an occasion.

Homemade pizza night happens almost every Friday here.  And for the rich flavor, I need tomato paste.  It’s easy, but time consuming and messy.  By mashing the tomatoes through my Kitchen Aide food mill, I can get just tomato juice, and all the skins and seeds are separated.  I ended up with a lot of the solid part left over.  While considering what to do with what others might consider waste, I thought “I can dehydrate that and use the powder later.”  I learned it is great in chili and will try it in other meals.

So, while covered in tomato pulp… I heard Him telling me that this is part of abundance.  Consider what you’ve harvested.  Make the most out of it.  Anticipate the unknown and how you can prepare for it.  Take something unexpected or maybe even undesirable and slip it into the right place for added depth.  Nothing is wasted in this harvest.